Probably the worst advice you can follow after breaking up with someone is to listen to your own heart. Because by definition when your heart is broken, it is no longer functioning correctly. Therefore doesn’t it make sense that any decision you do make with a broken heart will probably turn out to be nonsensical and counterproductive?
Here’s a great article explaining just exactly why you should NOT do what FEELS to be the right thing to do, when you’re deep in the depths of breakup misery. Her are just some of the wrong thoughts:
1. Our ex was the best, the one, the only one: Our mind will try to remind us of our ex’s best qualities. Images of them at their best will pop into our head unbidden. However, this unbalanced, unrealistic, and idealized portrayal of the person who broke our heart will only make the pain we feel worse.
2. The relationship made us happy all the time. No it didn’t no relationship does. There were plenty of frustrating, annoying, or hurtful moments too and we should recall those as well.
3. If we just text them or contact them we will feel better. The urge to text, message, call, or email will be very strong. But doing those things will only make us feel more desperate and needy, and it will hurt our self-esteem.
4. Talking about the breakup with all our friends will ease our pain. No, it won’t. Talking about emotionally painful events is natural and even useful if we do it in a problem-solving way or if we do it to get emotional validation. Just going over the same details over and over again will only make us feel worse.
You cannot trust your mind when your heart is broken. Here’s why: